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More diverse groups of people = more fun. Cultivating spaces to let off steam and connect with the community has been an essential facet of progress.įrom downtown Detroit to Royal Oak, Gay-Friendly nightlife reigns supreme. It’s been a long journey, but LGBTQ people have remained resilient. Since the 1940s, the gay community in Detroit has shifted from convening in mostly underground spaces to out and proud ones welcoming all genders and sexual orientations. But right or wrong, just or unjust-all political correctness, progressive philosophy, and gender-studies jargon aside-when a group of straight ladies steps into a queer room these days, there is a collective gritting of teeth.Detroit’s gay scene is vibrant, diverse and inclusive.
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Like the straight girl who announces “My best friend is gay,” I want to assert here that some of my best friends are straight. Whatever we choose to do about this fact, the office boy must acknowledge it before he brings his female co-workers to his favorite queer watering hole, and the bridesmaids must acknowledge it before they plan their girls’ night out. I can, however, point to something too often ignored: There is still a yawning gap of understanding and sensitivity between the straight and LGBTQ world. And some broad conclusion about that state of hetero-homo relations is out of my manicured reach. I can’t suggest that gays open up their bars to all, because I believe we deserve a place to be ourselves. I can’t suggest, like Thomas did, that straight people avoid gay spaces, because it appears that battle has been lost. I want to tie this all up neatly, but I don’t see an easy solution.
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They declare their allegiance to queers, they make jokes based on outmoded perceptions of queer life-but most of all they make a lot of tone-deaf noise that can entirely ruin the night for a room full of queer patrons. Yes, queen, I live for your shoes! Ugh, why do gay guys have the best bodies? If you were straight, I would totally make out with you.
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Even with the guidance of a “gay boy,” a group of office girls can run roughshod over the nerves of a gay room with their uncomfortable pronouncements and personal comments. It’s about straight people behaving badly in gay bars, arriving in balance-tipping throngs and turning pseudo-sex clubs into silly dance halls, drag shows into disrespectful free-for-alls, and quiet lounges into scream-filled shot dispensaries. And it’s not about straight people showing up in gay bars in general. This intensifying turf war does not spring from hetero-phobia. Versed in the semiotics of gayness, she was instantly welcomed as a native. Now this is a girl in her element, I thought, as she gave a Paris-is-Burning turn and draped herself across the laps of her boys. A few weeks back, I saw a woman march into a Chelsea bar at the head of a veritable gay herd, snapping open an enormous hand-fan to the cheers of onlookers. In the past, almost every girl has brought along a homo willing to serve as her “pass” (if not a crowd of homos).
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But whether they functioned as pull-toys or ring-leaders, they have usually come as guests of gays who can vouch for their status as queer allies. From divas and Broadway starlets to so-called fag hags, fruit flies, and princess fairies, they have been welcomed or at least tolerated. Unlike straight men, straight women have always had a prominent place in gay bars. “Girl,” she said, “At least once a week now …” There was the group of girls that jumped the stage as I tried to perform “Dancing on my Own”-now isn’t that ironic, Alanis? There were the ladies who came screaming to defend their girlfriend as I ribbed her in the audience. As I struggled to regain control of my show, I thought, hey, haven’t I been fighting this fight a lot lately? I asked Ms.